Your emotions are in another world. Happiness. Nervousness. Sadness. All swirl inside you, making you feel as if you are floating. You push it from your mind. Must get into character. Pride for my culture. You await the cue.
The applause dies down; you stride confidently onto the stage, deep in thought and deep in character. You sit down center stage. Center yourself.
You look up at the sea of expectant faces before you. All hanging on every breath. Awaiting the story you have the honor to voice. You open your mouth to start.
Click Click Click.
You melt away and watch detachedly, as your character takes over. Your usual social anxiety is gone just in this moment. The shy girl has been replaced by a confident person that wants their voice to be heard. It makes you smile to see the level of comfort the other you is expressing, as she strides through the blocking that she has polished these last six weeks. There are no stumbles and the emotions of the piece pull through. The other you confidently strides off the stage amidst the applause. You float back to join her. You step out of this foreign but comforting skin and back into yours.
You’ve asked me to tell you more.
The words echo through your mind as the boiling pot of emotions you felt earlier return. You feel humbled, honored, and melancholy. You were given the chance to give someone at your university a voice. A chance to let their inner thoughts be expressed and shared with a crowd. This roller coaster of rehearsals and performances has opened your eyes to the true world around you. You realize that there are many more issues at your school than just the ones you have been working on.
The show asked people to tell them more, and they did. People poured their hearts and minds into the sharing of their stories. Stories of struggle and a fight against ignorance. All different, but all connected. People you might actually know and interact with on a superficial level, pouring words from the depths of their souls. Revealing their true self. Not the person you see every day in class, but the person that is alone with their thoughts every evening as they do homework or another distracting task.
As for me, the stage is my distraction. The process is hard, but the show is worth it every time. I am granted an escape from my own difficulties. Troubles that I refuse to share with another out of fear of burdening them. The stage allows me to refocus myself and let all of the insecurities melt away.
Maybe one day, I can tell you more.
As I leave the auditorium one last time, the emotional roller coaster I am on, reaches the point of sadness. Sadness that it is over. Sadness that I will not get to see the people I have grown to love these past six weeks during another rehearsal. Sadness that never again will I be able to share this powerful story to a sea of open minds. Then happiness hits me. Happiness for this wonderful opportunity. Happiness for this new beautiful family I have had the honor to join. Happiness that there are so many people at this school with open ears and minds, waiting to hear more. People that if we tell them, they will not turn away.
I am proud to be a part of such a community.
Until next time my wonderful, melting pot of a family. Until our next ride.
Dedicated to the wonderful cast and crew of the 2015 production of Show Some Skin