A soft melody plays in my head as I zip up warmest pair of pajamas I think I have ever donned. If not warmest, then definitely coolest. If this wasn’t good enough, the fact that it is a TARDIS onesie should blow your mind. It is definitely bigger and softer on the inside.
Life inside an Onesie
A long day at class. A cold winter’s day out. A dorm room with minimal heat, just enough to make it preferable to sleeping outside. So tired that your eyes begin to droop. Visions of your bed linger in your mind. The comforter and Snuggie warm you up inside. You check your phone. It is not even 5 pm. It would not be socially acceptable to go to bed right now. But the warmth. It calls to you. You think back at the Christmas gifts you got last year. Just a thought to try and distract you from that delicious warmth that calls to you. It was a good Christmas. Simple and happy. You remember the zebra stripped onesie that your dad bought you. You thought it was childish. You only wore it at home. You missed an opportunity for a warm second semester at school. This pattern of thought of course leads to this summer when you impulsively bought a TARDIS onesie. The first time you slipped it on was to have a Doctor Who marathon with your camp friends. When you first unfolded it you were struck by the large blue nature of it. It was truly love at first sight. Gingerly you slipped one leg in after the other followed by your arms. Then ZZZZZZZiiiippppp. It was like a moment from Arthurian legend. This onesie was like the sword in the stone. You were destined to remain in its embrace. You were destined to by the bearer of the greatest power on this earth. Immense comfort and warmth. You two were inseparable since that day. You embraced the onesie life just as it embraced you.
Shall I compare it to a warm toasty fire? Or a summer’s day that is just a moment in the mind as you trudge through the long winter? You constantly marvel at the ingenuity of this invention. You thought Snuggies were cool. A blanket with arms has nothing on a blanket that you can wear and be warm from head (yay hoods) to foot. Soon it will become a part of you. Like a secret identity. You will become a Superman figure. The onesie constantly underneath your street clothes. Then when the people least expect, you release its awesome power. You have become the Lord of the Onesie for there can only be one onesie to rule them all in your eyes. One TARDIS onesie. One impulse buy to bind you to its power.
On a side note, the onesie life is the best life for time of darkness and sickness. So come join the warm side. We have a collection of amazing onesies waiting to choose you. Remember ehat a wise old wizard said, ‘The onesie chooses the bearer, remember…I think we must expect great things from you.”
Adieu. Adieu. To you and you and you.