Though the memory may only be a few days old, every time you close your eyes, you are brought back to that moment. The emotions associated rush back. It is almost like an obsession.
Has it ever happened to you? You try to live in the present but the past constantly tries to pull you back. Though the memory may not necessarily be sad, you grow almost sad that your mind refuses to let you move on. You feel weak over this mental obsession over a memory. It feels so involuntary to think about it. You try to busy yourself. School, work, music, and working out. For just a spec of time, you think that you have won over your mind. However, as soon as you let your mind slip into rest mode, you are back where you started. This is not an obsession, this is a possession of your mind. The very central part of your being is being occupied by this almost foreign thought process. You can't even sleep without the memory invading your dreams and nightmares.
How long will this virus last? What is the vaccine I need to take to prevent it from happening again? Why me?
This post was suppose to help me relieve my predicament. Help me glue this memory to words and leave it behind. Instead I threw gasoline on the fire raging in my head. I should try singing to myself. Haven't tried that one yet...
Memory....all alone in the moonlight...
Great....Now I'm singing about Cats. Gah. Now it seems like everything I do reminds me of that moment in some bizarre way. I need a new memory. One that won't haunt my every waking and sleeping moment. One that will set me free.